Fusion II

I got invited to the Fusion. Let’s admit it, I wouldn’t have been invited had I been using money. It would have been expected that I pay for myself. This is just a crutch so that I don’t stay at home. That I can come along with my boyfriend. It’s his birthday and he wants to celbrate it at the Fusion. Therefore he buys me a ticket so that I’ll go with him. Absurd isn’t it? Shouldn’t I be the one giving the tickets to him?
I tell myself that it is ok because for myself I would have decided not to go. It wasn’t nessecarily what “I” wanted.
Why did I hate it then that the bus to the area was another 5 Euros and my boyfriend had to pay again? Guilt? Embarrassment? Helplessness? I had the option to go to the “Arbeitsamt” to get some of the ticket price back. One of those awesome Fusion ideas. My boyfriend let it up to me to do that or not. I didn’t. I said to myself that I was there because of him and he didn’t buy me the ticket so I would spend my time at the “Arbeitsamt”.

I’m not so sure whether that’s entirely true.

I’m sure though that I really didn’t want to do it.
So much nicer to celebrate and, well,
consume.

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